Bone Marrow, Cat Scan, ECG, Surgical Appt, PET Scan.. All in one DAY!

11:26 AM Edit This 0 Comments »
Yesterday saw me in a lot of pain and lonely.. Not to have anyone by your side in tough times was extremely hard... but that was a choice I made.. if I can't have the rock that I had through the first bout of chemo then I wanted to go it alone this time.. I know I have alot of support and anyone would srop anything to come but it doesn't sit right with me.

8.30am - Bone Marrow was first up yesterday and because I drove in the doctors said I wouldn't be able to drive home because I would be sedated.. I wanted and needed to drive home.. it was my only way. Otherwise they said I could stay the night.. I DON'T THINK SO!! So, I managed to do the Bone Marrow without sedation.. OUCH!!!! Not the best move I have made in life but was worth the drive home.. Lucky I have good pain threshold, unlucky I have tough bones.

10.20am - Surgical Appointment was real quick just got the wound checked out from the biopsy and the lump that is there is just fluid.. so apparently I give 3-4 months and if still worried go back and they can drain it.. we will see.

1.30pm - Echocardiogram, not a hard thing to do.. nap time really for 20 minutes. Check the heart and all seems good.. just makes me wonder what the hell they are going to do to me now.. :os

2.40pm - CAT Scan.. drink this horrible glucose in which they try and disguise it with Lemon or Lime cordial.. doesn't disguise it too much at all. Wait an hour then have a scan for 20 minutes and your on your way.. fingers are fully crossed that this scan brings back no nasties at all!

Today 7.45am - PET Scan.. Sit me in a room for an hour where I can't even scratch my nose.. time for muscles to relax and let the cancer feed on the sugar they just injected in my body so they will show up every little bit of cancer there is that even the eye cannot see.. pretty impressive I know but I bloody hope this scan brings back only good news that the cancer is in one spot only.

So, apart from all this there is other bad news.. the day I got my results back that the cancer has relapsed was also the day my partner of almost 3 years and I decided it is the end of the road for our relationship.. that's what makes this all so much harder for me at the moment. We still are great friends and I couldn't lose that at the mooment. She wants us to go see a counsellor together so there is a lil hope I guess.

Until Thursday that's all the news but on Friday I am having chemo.. just the Mabthera which doesn't really bother me too much..

Ciao

RIP - Emily Jean Radel

7:17 PM Edit This 0 Comments »





I know I haven't mentioned anything about Emily previously in my blogs. I just didn't have the words I guess but she has been constantly in my thoughts and heart since my sister found out she was having another child.

I visited the family for 1 week on the 22nd of January to the 31st. It was the best week and was much needed. The main reason for the visit was to say goodbye to Emily, my sister Amanda's 4th child. Emily was 19weeks old and unfortunately I didn't get to meet my little niece.. not yet anyway.

My sister and her family had a service for Emily on Saturday the 23rd of January. It was very beautiful and emotional. Pink balloons, siblings letters, close family and friends. Faye the midwife led the service with her gentle voice, nurturing soul and breathtaking words. It was all very moving.

The other reason for my visit was because my sisters 1st born Annabelle was starting Prep. And I wouldn't have missed that for anything! It was a very exciting moment in all our lives and nervous as well, but the lil darling did very well and I'm so so proud of her.

I also got to spend a day with my lil men Riley and Ethan my sisters 2nd and 3rd borns. We spent a day at a Reptile Park and was also very exciting but scary for all! It was a lovely moment just hanging out with the boys for the day and Robert (my lil brother) and Aimee.

Amanda I know you will read this and I just want you to know that you are my hero. People say that I am strong.. but you and unfortunately many like you have to say goodbye to something so precious that you will never get back or had the chance to really know.. and that to me is the hardest thing I believe anyone would have to go through. You have held yourself so well and i'm not sure how you have but it amazes me and I truely admire your strength and courage to move forward. I know having you in my life has been a real blessing and I couldn't imagine having a different sister. You have such a beautiful family and I love you all so so much. You know your kids are my life and would do anything for you and them. xxooxxooxxooxxooxxooxxoo

The Wait...

7:13 PM Edit This 0 Comments »
I had the operation to have the lump removed for testing monday 1/02/2010. All went well and they took one whole lump which I was thrilled about.. So now I am just waiting.. I don't have any plans for what if.. I will just deal with it when and if it has returned. Plain and simple.. It doesn't have control.

:o)